Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I pushed submit.

Friends, for the past two months I have writing, revising, outlining, and slowly but surely completing my application for the Einstein Distinguished Educator Fellowship. The application is only four pages long, but it contains six essays, soul searching questions, and you must dig up anything and everything that you have ever done that was noteworthy in your entire life or at least the last five years.

In October I started writing, in November I revised and narrowed down my word count, and for the past four days I have been punctuating, reading, re-reading and having everyone I know put in their two cents. Dear friends, that you for putting up with me and revising my writing. I have learned so much about grammar and the semi-colon in this past week.

The deadline for the application is 11:00PM tonight, but I clicked submit at 5:05 PM, took a shower, and poured myself a glass of wine.

As I type this, my application is floating out in cyberspace waiting to be reviewed by a panel of experts and all I can do is wait. AND PRAY. and wait AND PRAY some more. This fellowship is something that I have wanted for so long. It's something I know I can do. It's attainable. But at the same time, I know rejection is still an option. I applied last year and was cut and it broke my heart. I had worked so hard to put my best foot forward and it just wasn't good enough. Turns out I am not good at accepting rejection. Sohere I am again, putting myself out there. I am Charlie Brown going after the football.

If I remember correctly, the first round of cuts happen in February. Stay tuned.

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