My attitude always matched my state of mind. Unfortunately I am not the type of person who can still look cheery or sunny when her house, life, or work life is in shambles. I have never been good at hiding my feelings and to be honest my poker face is horrible. Mr. R swears anyone who has known me for more than 5 mins can read me like a book.
For the past week I have been stressed about school ending (only 6 more days!), grades due (I still have a few tests to grade), our summer plans (we need to visit family and squeeze in a vacation), money (I am always worried about money), and our home renovations plans (which suck up large amounts of both time and money). I also haven't been feeling so hot (mostly due to stress) and I haven't been holding up my share of household duties (which means our house may look clean, but please don't look in any closets or under our bed!).
I find that when I am most stressed, I end up harboring my worries until they overtake me and manifest themselves in the form of a migraine, cold, or stress eating. As a Christian this approach to stress is crazy and yet I do it time and time again.
A few months ago I subscribed to a daily devotional blog. I read it every morning with my coffee as I am getting dressed for work. While I read the passages and message daily, they have never spoke to me like they have today.
Today's post centered around Psalm 23, which I could quote since the age of four. It's one of the first scriptures they teach up pentecostal kids in Sunday school. As many times as I have read and said the words "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." I still doubt that I can rely on God for my prosperity, my comfort, and needs. God is constantly providing for me even as I stumble around looking for ways to take care of myself.
Today and for rest of this crazy week I am going to remind myself that it is not my job to fix and change my circumstances. It is my job to rely and trust my Shepherd to guide me, comfort me, and take care of my household. After all, its much easier to be faithful then to be stressed!
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