Fellow bloggers I must admit that I am a censorer. I censor what I say, the way I portray myself, and I definitely censor the pictures I post of myself. (In fact, I have a running conversation with a my work BFF about how we only post pictures where we look good and heck with everyone else.)I recently have been struggling with my workouts and instead of using this blog as a way to air my frustrations with running, my endurance, my body, and my life in general. I have been censoring myself only posting the positive and refusing to admit to the world that I am having a hard time doing something.
This is really hard for me to admit because it really messes with my open book image. I try to live life as free and un-bothered as I can; and yet I can't be honest enough with myself to admit that running is hard, training is hard, and I am scared to death about running this marathon in October.
I had two really great runs this week. Both were incredibly short only 2 miles, but they were steady pace 11 minute miles. I wasn't sore or incredibly winded. I am no where near as fit and I would like or need to be, but I am happy with this little milestone I made this week. I am slotted to run 9 miles this weekend, but I am breaking it up into a 4mile and 5mile run in a 24 hour period. Mr. R. & I have some major chores this weekend and a 9 mile run just doesn't seem to fit in the schedule. I'll let you know how I make out. (And I promise to be honest in all its sweaty, tired, and out of breath glory!)
I wrote this lovely message yesterday and then my school computer ate it so I thought I would try again today since Carl brought my beloved mac back from his conference :)
ReplyDeleteI am SO PROUD of you for writing this! I know how hard it is to be honest about those deep down feelings with everyone. Those of us who love you don't care and want to be able to support and encourage you in your difficult times and applaud your successes. Those who get upset about your honesty suck anyways. :)